The holidays are a time of year with a lot of activities and social events. This can be so fun—but it can also be so tiring. It’s easy to get caught up in the merriment, and suddenly you realize you’re not even enjoying yourself anymore. If you have a busy holiday season, here are some tips to help you navigate it.
Say no if you can’t (or don’t want to) do something
There’s often a lot of pressure to say yes around the holidays. People want to see each other and engage in traditions together. But if you say yes to every invite or event, you end up with a packed schedule. Now some people like this. But for others, this can lead to more fatigue and more disruption to your routine. This may make effects of brain injury you experience already more challenging.
For example: You’ve agreed to do five different things in the next two weeks. You have to keep track of what you’re doing, where you’re doing it, when you have to be there, what you need to bring, etc. You normally need a couple days of routine after an event to feel your best, but you won’t be able to do that. You start feeling some emotional distress because you feel tired and stressed by these things that were originally supposed to be fun.
You don’t have to say no to everything, as there will be some activities that are really important to you. But if you receive an invite that you think will be more stressful than fun for you, it’s okay to say no.
Many people struggle with saying no (particularly around the holidays) because they don’t want to hurt others feelings. But saying no doesn’t have to be dismissive or hurtful. Here are some ways you can approach it:
“Thank you for the invite, but I’m not able to join you. I appreciate you thinking of me.”
“I appreciate the invite, but I have a lot of other things happening around that time, and I really need some time to myself to balance it out. I would love to get together with you in the new year.”
“Thanks for thinking of me. I don’t think I’ll be able to go, but I know you’ll have so much fun. If you can, send me some photos!”
These are just a few examples of ways you can say no.
Build breaks into your schedule
It’s important for everyone to have a little time to decompress, particularly when a lot of social stuff is happening back to back. Blocking out periods of time in your schedule for a break is a helpful way to make sure you’re getting the time you need.
For example: You have a holiday party on Friday evening, and then a family dinner on the Saturday evening. You want to go to both, but now you’ll need some extra rest and a little time to be alone. You block out the Saturday morning and afternoon on your calendar as a rest period so you know not to book anything for that time.
Taking a break could even look like setting aside 30 minutes during a holiday gathering to go sit quietly or be in a new environment. Be open with friends and family about what you need in order to participate, and ask for help accessing it.
Find environments that work for you
Holiday events can be noisy, have a lot of bright lights, and be in environments that may not work for you.
For example: Your family wants to go to the town’s annual tree lighting ceremony. This is an event that has a lot of crowds, a lot of noise, requires a lot of standing, and includes many bright lights.
You may decide that you want to participate in events with a lot of sensory stimulation, but you choose to participate for a shorter period of time. You can also talk to the people in your life about environments that work for you so together you can find a venue or an activity that works. So maybe you can’t go to a tree lighting, but you can have a special movie night at a friend’s house.
Make adjustments to your traditions
Traditions are an important part of the holiday season for many people. They hold a special place in hearts and memories. You may have your own favourite holiday traditions. But after a brain injury, it may not be possible for you to engage with them in exactly the same way.
For example: Every year you host a big holiday party at your house for all your friends. But the planning, prepping, cooking and decorating takes a lot of your mental and physical energy. You are able to cook one dish comfortably, but organizing and hosting a whole party for a bunch of people just isn’t something you want or are able to do this year.
You may feel some grief/loss around a tradition like that. It’s perfectly natural to be disappointed that you aren’t able to do things the same way. However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to do them at all. In this example, you could ask one of your friends to take over hosting duties and you’ll bring one special dish you served every year. It may not look exactly the same, but you are still getting to spend time with good friends (and good food).
Making adjustments to traditions so they work for you helps make sure that you enjoy them and the holidays more.
And remember: it’s okay to say goodbye to traditions that aren’t working for you anymore. You want to feel your best during the holiday season, and if some traditions are causing you stress, it may be helpful to take a break from them this year.
Set a budget
Many holidays this time of year have a gift-giving component. This can get expensive, and finances can be quite stressful. One of the best ways to help yourself navigate holiday expenses is to set a budget that will allow you to give without stress. We have some tips on setting budgets on our website.
Here are some ideas around gift-giving at the holidays that could fall within your budget:
- Propose a Secret Santa gift exchange in your family so everyone only buys one present
- Buy second-hand gifts from repurpose stores
- Ask to set a budget for gift-giving within a group. For example, if you and three friends want to buy each other gifts, set a limit of $25 dollars. It helps your wallet and it encourages everyone to be creative with their spending
- Make donations in people’s names to charities that are important to them
- Make gifts
- Offer quality time or experiences instead of a physical gift. For example, if you know someone really loves movies, give them a little card that says you will treat them to a movie date.
Talk to your family and friends about what you need
Many people try to do it all during the holidays, often on their own because they feel it’s their responsibility to make the holiday great. But holidays emphasize the importance of being together. If you have concerns about the holiday, or need some help, talk to your loved ones. They want to support you, and they may need you to tell them what you can do, what you don’t want to do, and how you’re feeling.
The holidays are a lovely time of year, but they can get busy and overwhelming. These are just some tips you can use to help navigate the busy season, prioritize your wants and needs, and find a balance.
We at Brain Injury Canada wish you happy holidays and look forward to more connections in the new year.
