Almost 22 years ago I was in a car accident. I was eighteen and my friends and I were headed downtown one evening when the driver of our car failed to stop at a red light. There were no drugs or alcohol involved, it was just an unfortunate mistake. The vehicle we were in was t-boned on the passenger side by a large truck and I was struck on the back right side of my head.
After twelve days in the hospital, I was sent home with little direction for what to do next. I had just graduated from high school a few months prior and was supposed to be starting my post-secondary education, but now that was on hold. My parents kept bringing their concerns about my behaviour and cognitive function to my doctor and I was put on a wait list for the outpatient head injury rehabilitation program in a nearby city.
The biggest influence in my recovery has been my mindset. Learning how to be present and mindful through meditation and creative visualisation taught me to appreciate the moment that I am in and find positives.
Other things that I have found helpful is learning how to do my own research. It’s hard to rely on somebody else to be an advocate for you. And sometimes it can be difficult to explain exactly what you are finding difficult or how you are feeling. After doing testing with doctors, I was able to see where my deficits were and could further research them to better understand myself and my brain injury.
If I could go back to when I first had my brain injury, I would tell myself to slow down. I was 18 when my injury occurred and my life was thrown way off track. Instead of heading off to university, I was headed to rehabilitation and all I wanted to do was get it over with so that I could get back on my life’s track. I wish I had been more engaged with my rehabilitation, knowing now that some effects of the brain injury were not just going to get better on their own and some would be with me for the rest of my life.
For families and friends, the best thing you can do for someone with a brain injury is have patience. That’s something we have to learn to give ourselves after acquiring a brain injury, as some things frustratingly don’t work the same way they used to. So showing up as a support with enough patience can be really calming and helpful.
After over 20 years of living with a TBI, I have started writing a memoir to share my experiences. I don’t think my story is better than anyone else’s, but I have the ability to do this and if it can help someone else who is going through something similar then that makes it worth the work. Having a TBI is a unique life that only other people who have gone through it will understand. If you feel isolated because of your TBI, I encourage you to reach out to a local society, join an online support group, or even just read a book from a TBI survivor.
