Please be aware: before you keep reading, there is a mention of gun violence.
On September 25, 1989, when I was 16 years old, I was shot in the cerebellum with a .22 rifle loaded with a mushroom shell. My memories of that morning are not completely clear. I remember being outside in the yard of my parents’ summer home. I was with a friend. Next thing I remember I was falling face down towards the ground . I must have been in and out of consciousness from this point as I can only remember parts of the ambulance ride and the attendant trying to keep me awake. 4 weeks later I awoke from a coma to later learn I had been shot in the head.
It was challenging – my life basically started over. I had to learn everything over again. Reading, writing, trying to walk, swimming with no balance. As a kid, I played the drums. Not being able to physically do that anymore was mentally challenging, but I continued to try and still do. You just can’t give up. I was always tired after being in a coma.My neurologist, and my family, especially my mom, never gave up on me. They pushed me to do things when I didn’t want to do them. My parents, family and friends were my support. However, I slowly distanced myself from friends and isolated myself to pretty much being home or with my parents all the time – so my friends eventually went away.
If I could go back, I would tell myself to be around people. Don’t feel embarrassed – talk about how you really feel. Don’t hide your emotions, and let people in. I did all of these things and it really affected my life. I have a hidden disability and I never told anyone. It was so hard on my wife and kids and held me back.
I have a hidden disability. It may not show, but life for me isn’t easy. Everything I accomplished in life or continue to do comes from hard work and dedication. I have a burning sensation in my head that has never gone away. I had to learn how to read, write and walk after my accident so sometimes I don’t do things in a traditional way and I also may need extra time when reading . I have to think and plan things out all the time just to complete a simple task like walking because I have bad balance. I may not show emotion but I feel it. That doesn’t mean I can’t do things. It may slow me down at times, but I can do it as good if not better than others. Because I have always felt that people would treat me differently or stereotype me if I shared my hidden disability I chose not to. This has probably also caused me to lose job opportunities. I always want to accomplish things on my own. My wife tells me I have a stubborn side.
After trying my luck at small business and working many rewarding jobs, including as a volunteer firefighter and red seal chef, I am currently a Petty Officer/ Rescue Specialist working my way up the ranks within the Canadian Coast Guard.
I hope that my life can be an example to others living with a disability.
