My traumatic brain injury is a result of an accident that occurred in July 2021. I was a motorcycle racer, and was competing in a qualifying event that would determine our starting order on the grid for the next day’s races, based on the order we finished ordered by lap times. So I was trying to go as fast as I could.
I raced for about 15 years, and I was also an instructor training other riders on how to ride as safely as possible. I also maintained my motorcycle as meticulously as I could. But none of those things can stop a person from making mistakes, and that is what I believe happened based on what I was told post-accident. I have to rely on what I was told and what we put together from injuries that were a result of the accident, as I am missing my memory from before the accident to about three weeks afterwards.
Because of the location of the accident, I must have been braking when the accident occurred. I went over the front of the bike, and my head impacted the pavement hard enough to cause the TBI, as well as a sixth nerve palsy in one eye, and two broken wrists.
I was transported by ambulance to the hospital, where I was put on life support for a week due to breathing problems. Afterwards I was diagnosed with a moderate to severe traumatic brain injury.
After the initial two weeks in ICU/emergency, I was moved to a rehabilitation hospital where I received treatment for the brain injury over the next four weeks. After that, I was released home to continue my recovery there.
At home, I started taking a lot of walks with the dog. From my time spent at the gym over the years, I knew walking to be good for overall body and brain recovery as long as it didn’t have any negative physical impacts due to injuries. I also found walking helpful with working to recover my vision, as walking on residential streets meant using both near and far sight. Eventually this got me to a point where I could go for a road test to get my license back, which had been taken away at the hospital.
A few months after being released from hospital and working on recovering any way I was able to, I went through cognitive testing and other assessments and was approved to go back to work.
In writing about my experience, my goal is to help others who can identify with similar experiences or symptoms, and how I went about working with or around these things.
Probably the biggest issue I had post-TBI both at work and at home was that my short term memory was drastically reduced. I relied on reminders for important things I didn’t want to forget about even prior to my accident, but after the TBI I relied heavily on tasks and notes on my phone for daily things (so scheduling recurring reminders).
Because I took so many notes, I even started organizing them in folders to make them easier to remember and find.
For those living with a TBI, here are some things I have experienced and would like others to know about:
- Over-explaining: I find I have difficulty summarizing things and can talk at length about things that could be summed up more briefly, and need to get reminders about this to help me.
- Identity: I was given some very good advice that, post-TBI, you need to recognize that you basically have a new identity now and try your best to accept it, along with any physical limitations you may have. It is definitely not easy to do, but it is important to evaluate what you can and cannot do. This may mean letting go of longer term goals, and finding things that you can still do that will bring you happiness. Being as realistic as you can about how things will be going forward can help reduce stress.
- Hyper-focusing on things: I haven’t found it possible to stop this (despite trying guided meditation, yoga etc.). I’ve tried to turn my focus towards positive and productive things instead of focusing on negative things.
- Emotional regulation: I feel like this is very different from before the accident. I now struggle a lot to manage my mood, especially when tired. I find just pausing before I react to things can allow me time to think through what a reasonable and rational response would be. I also find getting enough sleep is critical to being able to manage and keep as stable an emotional state as I can.
- Keeping a log: a log of good things you experience can be helpful for not forgetting about positive experiences, as it’s important to hold on to those to help with mental health.
- Weightlifting: This may not be something that’s possible for everyone depending if you have other injuries you’re recovering from, but in my case I actually found going back to the gym was very helpful in getting my wrists functioning well again, and have always found going to the gym to help my mood (exercise can boost endorphins) and mental health overall.
- Memorization: I have tried learning languages to see if I can improve my short-term memory, and have found small improvements using a language app. I think the memorization helps me improve my brain’s function in some aspects, even if my short-term memory remains poor overall.
- Coping with panic: if I feel panic rising, a good technique I’ve found is called “box breathing” – breathing in, holding your breath, breathing out, and holding again–all for equal amounts of time (4-5 seconds for example). This helps calm the mind and nervous system along with it, getting the heart rate under control and letting your mind move away from the state of panic.
- Meditation: prior to my TBI, I found guided meditation to be helpful, so I have continued to try it when possible to see if it can help. There are good apps and podcasts out there, some of which are TBI-specific. Finding the right one for you will likely be a matter of listening to different material until you find something that resonates.
- Gratitude: remember to feel gratitude, even for small things. When feeling frustrated over something minor, I try to remember things like the fact that I am very lucky to be alive given the severity of my accident, and I need to remember to step back and see all the good things I’m surrounded by in my daily life.
- Be patient with yourself: It will take time for initial healing, and then slowly learning what your new limitations are, how you will react to situations. Some of these learning processes may be life long.
For those who live with or know someone dealing with a TBI, it is important to know some things:
- TBIs can have different severities, and many symptoms are not obvious–especially if you don’t know the person well enough to know how they acted prior to the brain injury.
- Those with a TBI can have different reactions than you may be expecting, especially if they are tired or dealing with something unexpected (while not to the same degree as pre-TBI, it is possible to prepare ourselves and think about how to appropriately react to something)
- Try to be as patient as you can, even though I’m sure it can be frustrating when we forget something you told us very recently, for example. Our behaviour and reactions can be different to what you knew before and may be expecting now. A bit of patience can can go a long way.
- Communication is very important–listen to what we’re experiencing and feeling, as things can be very confusing and difficult to navigate after a TBI. Having guidance can be helpful, and even though we may not be in the right situation or mood to show appreciation for it, we may feel that later.
- Know that some things may change and improve over time, but with a TBI there are some things that may never change. This can be difficult to accept for the person living with a TBI and those around them, but this may be the reality.
