Hi there, my name is Emma P. I’m 28 years old and I am a mom of a 14 month old.
My brain injury happened on July 25th, 2022 when I was 31 weeks pregnant. We live in a rural area, so the closest hospital is 25 minutes away by driving. It was like any other summer day for my husband and I, we needed to go and pick up the mail. We bought E bikes a couple years ago and we were big on riding them this year, to get outside, especially being pregnant. So we decided we were going to take the bikes instead of walking, we got to the mail boxes and my husband said let’s keep going, and we did! We did our usual route up a huge windy hill and then around the neighbourhood, coming down the first hill on our way back. I remember my brakes working fine no issues, but then coming down the second hill I remember I was picking up speed, so like anybody else would I squeezed the brakes and nothing happened. I started panicking at this point. I tried them again and I actually felt like cable brake pull out of wherever it was supposed to be connected to. I remember looking down at my speed and I was doing 30km/hour, down hill, with 2 blind corners ahead of me, 31 weeks pregnant. I really started to panic at this point, I was screaming out to my husband to get out of the way and that I had no brakes, I do remember seeing an on coming car signaling to turn up the hill as well. Then everything goes black.
I ended up crashing my bike into a cement barricade, I jumped it and landed on my head 2 feet away from the bike. If I would have landed any further away I would have ended up down this super steep hill in the weeds. The last thing I remember thinking was “I’m going to just try coast this hill out and maybe I’ll make the hill”, but that car threw my plan for a loop. Anyway, I was completely knocked out at this point and my poor husband said he ran to me. I laid there foaming at the mouth, eyes rolled to the back of my head, motionless just holding my belly. He thought that our unborn child and I died in his arms that day. All these neighbours came running and they all called 911 and the ambulance was there so fast. They took me to the nearest hospital where I had a CT. I was also experiencing contractions so they had the OBs in there checking on the baby. I spent the night at the Kootenay Lake hospital. They flew in a special crew called the “HART team” from Penticton BC because they wanted to transfer me via air plane to a bigger hospital, but I couldn’t fly without them.
I got transferred to Kelowna Hospital and admitted for a month, pretty much my whole last trimester. I don’t remember much, only the last 2 weeks I was there. When I came to I came to learn of my injuries. A broken collar bone in 4 places, 2 compression fractures in my spine, a dislocated rib, and 3 brain bleeds which led me to be completely paralyzed on the left side of my body. They classified it as mild/ moderate TBI. I had to re learn how to walk with a walker, which was really difficult due to my broken collar bone. I had to re learn how to use my left hand and teach it how to be somewhat normal again and that’s what we’re still struggling with.
I was released using a cane for assistance, 2 weeks before having my baby via C section. They wanted to do the surgery due to my head injury and how the pressure wouldn’t be good for it. So 2 days before my C section we had to go in for an anesthesia consult. That doctor said he was on the phone with the Vancouver women’s health centre asking about how to tackle my case. They told him they didn’t want to repeat scans because me and my baby have had too much radiation and they believed we were getting better according to the scans. They did tell him though, that if I noticed any increase in symptoms and if they’re getting worse to call them and let them know. I guess if my brain was still bleeding and they used a specific drug that my brain would shrink and kind of fall into my skull. So that was a huge anxiety going into surgery.
My symptoms didn’t get any worse and we didn’t cancel, 2 days later my husband and I welcomed a beautiful, healthy, unharmed baby girl.
There’s been a variety of struggles I’ve been having with my TBI.
- Learning how to navigate being a new mom on top of learning my new self and all the limitations and new things that go along with it. I.e. OCD/ADHD, sleep problems, anxiety, depression, physical limitations & pain.
- My left hand. It was definitely improved, and they say it’ll definitely keep progressing.
- As my baby girl grows she needs a heck of a lot more stimulation, attention and less naps. And I need a heck of a lot less stimulation, and most importantly sleep.
- Being classified as “high functioning” and being put to the bottom of the priority list. Yes, unfortunately there are people WAY worse then me and need the help too, but that doesn’t mean I’m not struggling and don’t need help too.
I have dealt with these challenges the best way I know how, to ask for help. Medically, I’ve gone to my doctor about all the mental health stuff. I’ve started seeing a counselor to help get my newly acquired OCD figured out. I have been referred to a neurologist, an occupational therapist, a neuropsychologist, a massage therapist, a physiotherapist, an athletic therapist, a chiropractor and I have found them all SO helpful. I rely on my notes in my phone, my calendar for appointments, and a white board for lists.
As for the new mom part, I thankfully have the BEST support system. My husband has been so hands-on and so understanding. My family lives close by so they’ve been helping with taking me to my appointments, baby sitting when I need a break, late night help when my baby wouldn’t sleep and I was too exhausted to even move. I have a few friends that have had babies around the same time as me and they’ve been including us in play dates and helping out if we need.
I also started feeling really sad, anxious and alone. Everyone that was there for support could try their best to understand, but no one has ever lived with a brain injury so no one could really relate. So I started doing research for community groups or other people in my similar situation, and I couldn’t find anything. So I decided I was going to start up a blog for people to follow my recovery journey and my journey of motherhood highs and lows with a brain injury. It made me feel better to just tell our story, but I was also hoping that I would have someone that could relate to it and that it would help them also feel a little less alone. And it has! So feel free to follow along with my journey, if you can relate to it or if you don’t and you’re just interested, feel free to reach out and share your story too! I would love to feel a little less alone in this new world of TBI.
A couple pieces of advice to anyone dealing with a brain injury is:
- Try to keep a positive outlook on life. Yes, what you have gone through was awful and hard and the recovery stages are even harder and more frustrating. But you have gotten a second chance at life, so take advantage.
- Any win big or small is still a win.
- Don’t take life or family for granted, do what you want to do, make the most of your day. You never know when your time is up.
